If you are a high achiever, or someone who finds their worth through their work, it can be hard to find your value outside your accomplishments. Or maybe you grew up the oldest in your family, which instilled in you a perpetual sense of needing to always deliver, and always be responsible. If this is you, I am here to remind you to give yourself some grace. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. All it does is suffocate you. And that's not helping you lead the life you want to. It's good to have goals, to have dreams, and to strive for those things. But not to the extent where you feel trapped between your reality and the impossible expectations you've set for yourself. Just breathe. It's okay.
Maybe you're in a season of life where you feel trapped in a loop of the mundane. And you feel like its your fault. You feel like the reason things are the way they are is because of you. But what if that's not the case. If you are trying, there's no reason to beat yourself up. Easier said than done. I am 100% guilty of this, falling into the camps of a high achiever, perfectionist, and yep you guessed it, the oldest in my family. So I write this for you, as well as myself. Everyone has doubts, but I think when you're an introvert (like moi) those doubts often stay in your head, instead of expressed. Which means you've got all these thoughts just swirling around in your mind. What you say to yourself affects you. Because thoughts turn into actions which turn into results which contribute to your set of beliefs. Both what you think of the world and how you view yourself. What I've found to be most helpful is to not give your thoughts power. Thoughts are just thoughts. And as such we can just let them float on by. As much as we'd like to, we don't have control over them. So beating yourself up over not being able to control your thoughts is not helpful or realistic. Again it comes back to taking the pressure off yourself. Release that self-imposed tension. That's when you find room to breathe. Room to create. That's a form of self love really. And you deserve to be loved.
Life rarely turns out how you think it will. I am learning, that's okay. It can give way to some pretty incredible surprises. But I know its hard when you've been hoping and praying for something for a long time. If you feel like you identify with that song from the movie Tangled When will my life begin, I feel you. And I constantly have to remind myself that my life has already begun. And then to ask myself how I can embrace it? It's often the thing that we want the most from someone else that we need to give to ourselves. And so long as that thing is not destructive, give it to yourself. I am also improving my gratitude practices and recognizing how it plays a big role in being present. As humans we naturally want more. It's funny how there's always something else. It's like a bottomless pit that is never fully satisfied. You want the job that pays more money, and then when you get that, then you want a boyfriend. Then when you're dating you want to get married. Then when you get married, you want to have kids. Then when you have kids, you want a bigger house etc. It never ends. The remedy I propose is gratitude and bringing it back to the present. Where are you today? Those things, those ideas, those dreams. Not bad in and of themselves, but are you missing what is in front of you today? Because there are blessings in today. There are things to be thankful for today. Maybe they seem like small and insignificant things that get overlooked. It takes practice to flex your gratitude muscle, but it's so important. You can be grateful for yourself, for your body, for having a roof over you head, and hot food to eat. For health, for family, for friends. Once you start practicing gratitude it gets easier to see the blessings in your life. And yes, suffering is a part of life too. You and I both know this. We can't avoid it, and we don't have all the answers. Life is hard. But I think it makes life a hell of a lot harder to only focus on the negative, or what we don't have. Gratitude changes that.
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